Your self worth = your success?

Are you like me an hyper-achiever?

If you have been told from the school time, that you need to bring great results if you want to succeed, you may have had my same education. You may have developed the ambition to succeed and be the best in everything you do. You may be convinced that your performances, job title or success determine who you are. This mindset, while helping you achieving your career or personal goals, can lead to a dangerous cycle of burnout. This because your identity becomes inseparable from your professional achievements. I founded the description of my behaviour in Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence program. I did the test and discovered that my hyper-achiever mindset is also my saboteur.

My personal hyper-achiever story.

Maybe like you, I always wanted to excel at school. I was the first of my course to get the Bachelor, the first to find a job in the corporate world. I found myself deeply entrenched in the role of a high performer. Success was my fuel, and each new achievement only pushed me to strive for more. My days were consumed with work, my nights with thoughts of the next big project. I was driven, but at what cost? The more I achieved, the more I felt my self-worth was tied to my job. The joy of success was fleeting, quickly replaced by the pressure to accomplish even more. While at school if you study you get rewards, in the corporate world there is politic, team culture, a manager that has its own mindset and view of your performances. I had many difficult moments accepting that despite my accomplishments and long hours, I was not among the best.

The hyper-achiever saboteur had taken hold, convincing me that my value as a person was entirely dependent on my performance. Relationships started to strain, and I began to experience the early signs of burnout. Yet, I couldn’t stop. My leadership role had become my identity.

The unrelenting pressure of giving 120%

The hyper-achiever doesn’t just push you towards success; it demands constant high standards. It tells you that anything less than the best is a failure. This unrelenting pressure can drive incredible results, but it also leads to burnout. The satisfaction of success is short-lived, and the goalposts are constantly moving.

You may find yourself working late into the night, sacrificing personal time and health—all in the pursuit of the next big win. I became a mum twice and refused to work less than before since I didn´t want to be discriminated as woman and mother. But when your self-worth is tied to your performance, every setback feels like a personal failure, leading to a cycle that’s hard to break.

Recognizing the saboteur

The first step in overcoming the hyper-achiever is recognizing its influence. Ask yourself: do you feel your self-worth fluctuates with your job performance? Are you constantly seeking validation through work? Are you on the brink of burnout, yet unable to slow down?

Once you recognize these patterns, you can start to shift your focus. Balance your drive for success with your core values. What truly matters? Is it your leadership title, or is it the relationships you build, the joy in everyday moments, and the peace that comes from within?

Breaking free: the path to true fulfilment

It took me a burnout twice to start really working on myself, my values, what I really want to accomplish in life. I didn´t define myself other than my job. And yet I am a wife, a mum, a daughter, a sister, a networker, a friend, a mentor, a volunteer.

I started understanding, feeling and seeing that overcoming the hyper-achiever saboteur didn’t mean giving up on my goals. It means redefining success to include personal fulfilment and well-being. It’s about realizing that my self-worth is not tied to my job title or the latest achievement, but to who I am as a person. You can manage to do it too and let your identity emerge.

Take practical steps like daily reflection, setting balanced goals that include personal growth, and seeking support from a coach or mentor. These steps can help you detach your self-worth from your performance, preventing burnout and leading to true success.

The story continues

This journey of overcoming the hyper-achiever is ongoing, above all now that I am a business owner and fully responsible for my business. It’s not about eliminating my drive but managing it in a way that leads to a purposeful, joyful and balanced life. By recognizing your saboteur, you can start to rewrite your story—one where your worth isn’t defined by your job, but by the values and relationships that truly matter.

Are you ready to break free from your saboteurs and let your true self, your identity emerge? Let’s work together to create a new narrative, where leadership is about more than just achievements, and your success is measured by the richness of your life, not just your resume.

I invite you to reach out. Let’s work together to manage these internal obstacles and create a balanced, successful life.

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